I learned how to trouble shoot recently...

I also learned that Cola brings me back to life.

I ran the Julian Alps by UTMB 25km 10 days ago. I had big aspirations for my efforts - I shared in my previous post that I was aiming for a time goal for the first time ever, and I almost achieved that. But I didn’t. Kinda.

It’s worth noting that I’ve not run a step since this race because I’ve been sick. I was probably sick before the race to be honest - on the Thursday before I had to spend most of the day horizontal with no energy to move. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, just thinking I was tired after a long week at work, and I’m also the kind of runner that will happily be in denial until after my race has been run. But this zap of energy was probably a warning sign for what was about to happen on race day.

My goals for this race were multi-layered - finish within the cut off and get your UTMB stone was the main aim. But I wanted better than that. I wanted to beat my predicted time, and my training told me I could do that by a big margin of around 45mins. That’s huge I know, but I had the data to back that up, so I created a pacing plan per aid station that I would be aiming for, and whilst I knew it was likely I wouldn’t hit the big goal, I had some level of confidence that I’d hit somewhere near that time. Except I didn’t.

My “Big Goal” Pacing plan, that almost went to plan

That’s a lie actually. I was on track for the first 11km - I was within 30s of my BIG time goal pace, and that section felt "easy” despite a few technical sections, a steep downhill and some increasing temperatures. I flew through the aid station only stopping to fill up my water and then dunk my head under the tap to cool down, adding my carb drink mix on the go. You turn left almost immediately after aid, and then it hit me and my race plan went out of the window. I don’t know what it was for sure, but I can take a guess that it was a mixture of 28degrees heat on exposed trails plus potentially over salting myself with the carb drink (although I had trained with the amount I took in previously, just not at these temps) plus truly pushing at a red-lined effort. I know I said it felt “easy” - it did at the time, but I was for sure running at a pace I couldn’t maintain given the heat. The heat won for sure.

I had underestimated the second climb of this race. The average gradient was a little steeper than my home trails, it was 11%. The climb before was 9% - I managed that with ease and thought this would be a doddle. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I’d guess that the first half of that climb was twice as steep - like climbing up the side of an uphill motorway verge (I know what I mean when I say this, no idea if you can relate) - I needed a standstill break every 5-10 steps. I wasn’t alone here, but it was soul shattering to feel this way when the first half of the race felt so good, so manageable. The second half of this climb was actually on a road - and it was RELENTLESS - uphill as far as the eye could see without any glimpse of easing off, just slow, hot bodies death marching their way to the next summit, before another steep downhill. The temps were only getting hotter as I climbed into the midday sun and with that the pace was only getting slower. I could only manage a slow grind of a hike with too many stops to catch my breath. I couldn’t stomach food at this point, and I couldn’t take in my carb drinks in anything more than a sip - so I was dangerously under fuelling in the heat, whilst climbing, for around 90mins. The downhill was steep, rocky and just as hot.

From Aid Station One to Aid Station Two should have taken me approx 2hrs if I was on “big goal pace”. It took me 2hrs 26mins. With no energy going in, and a mind that wanted to give up on myself, this was by far one of the hardest 10kms of a race I’ve ever been in. I wanted to give up at multiple times. The first time was before the summit of the second climb - the 15km runners were diverted downhill to their finish, yet all I could see was “up”… I was tempted, but knew it was better to carry on at this point, I had other “outs” if I needed them, and I truly wanted to turn this around. The second time was when I FINALLY reached the bottom of the climb and saw the road to the town where I’d be finishing. I could hear the race announcer cheering in runners. I was less than 5mins from my hotel room at that point, and as tempting as it was I just marched on, slowly, and getting more and more upset that my big goal, that I dared to dream, was well out of reach. I soon passed a sympathetic volunteer directing us away from the road and into the wilderness once more. “Soon done” she said. I cried. I was hot, tired, nauseous and so disappointed that my plan was out the window. This point was the lowest for me, less than 3km from the next aid station, I was convinced I would withdraw, I was convinced that my race would be over. And that was ok, in that moment.

That 3km was the longest I’d ever felt. I had to stop and sit on rocks for moments at a time. Gather myself. Even water wasn’t feeling good but I knew I had to take in something. As I kept getting passed by other runners, with looks of care shared by most, I was giving up more and more with each step. I had three thoughts on repeat at this time, and these thoughts were the only things that kept me going:

1. The next aid station will have cola and that might bring you back to life.

2. Courtney didn’t give up when her race when sour at UTMB, BE MORE COURTNEY.

3. Emily had the strength to finish UTMB after 38hrs even though it wasn’t her day. If Em can finish that you can finish this.

I got to that second aid station. I covered myself with two jugs of water and filled my cup with cola. I left quickly sipping the cola, and whether it was true or I was tricking myself, I came back to life, a little. I wish I’d filled a bottle with cola to be honest, but in the moment I wanted to get out quickly so that I didn’t convince myself to stop there. Now I wanted to finish this thing I’d started.

The last climb.

Exhausted and hot I was against a bit of a clock. I had 2hrs to get up and over the last climb and finish before the cut off and claim my “stone”. I’d estimated 40mins up and 20mins down for my “big goal" pacing, so 2hrs should have been doable, but this climb was a 25% gradient and I hadn’t eaten for 3hrs of my race. I could see folk climbing as I crossed the road and I knew I had to lock in to some kind of super power to get up and over. I made a promise to myself - a minimum of 10 steps before you can take a break. The first section was easy… you then climb out of sight and the hill hit me hard… I had to go up backwards, much to the dismay of all around me, but it made it mentally easier - I couldn’t see how far I had to go… just how far I’d come… nice… up up up slowly, slowly, slowly. I was well within the last 10-15 finishers at this point… we were all battling something, all exhausted, all wishing it’d gone differently I’m sure. We yo-yo’d with each other, each finding a burst of energy at different points of this never ending black ski-run of a climb.

Eventually I got up and I dared to look at my watch. Miraculously I made it up there in less than an hour, which meant I could just about beat my predicted time if I got a wiggle on and actually ran downhill. The downhill was a steep but paved mountain bike trail, then pavement through town. One deep breath and off I flew vowing only to walk when I had a medal around my neck. Job done.

My predicted finishing time was 5hrs 26. I managed to finish in 5hrs 20. I’m proud of how I hustled. I had to dig myself out of some real low points during that race, and I had to learn how to combat some pretty real fuelling problems too. That will need lots of working on in the next block but for now I’ll celebrate that I did it, not perfectly, and I learned a lot in a beautiful place surrounded by some awesome people.

Those finish line feels.

The Julian Alps by UTMB is one of the most “local” races I’ve ever been too and would absolutely recommend it - the trails are stunning, the community welcomes you with open arms, and it’s a very well organised race. I’ll be going back next year (for redemption, maybe) for sure.